Rss

Archives for : Television

Ku-less – Hai-lidays: The War of the Wheaton: Arch Nemesis Day!

Something Wheaton This Way Comes… Part the Reprieve

 

The Christmas (in July) Truce

 

Happy Birthday to WilThe Wheaton Wheaton!!!

 

Pop Culture Haiku Entertainment Television Humor Hai-liday Wil Wheaton Arch Nemesis

Arrrr! Here There Be Wheatons!

 

The Official ‘Kujo’ Hai-liday for July 29th is:

 

Arch-Nemesis Day

 

Now go out there and foil someone’s dastardly master plans while they arrogantly explain them in great detail to you!

War of The Wheaton – The Haiku

You are  ‘Just A Geek’

Wil Wheaton! Find this Blood Feud

Far from Starfleetin’

Something Wheaton  This Way Comes…Part the First

Beginnings and Strange Days

 

 

Granted this is not my best work by far, but the haiku couplet is a nice touch. In my defense, Dr. Seuss squeezed quite a bit of forced meter from nonsensical stones in his day:

 

Moonin’ K. Marvey, we have to leave in a bit!
(Now to make up a word and make this rhyme fit.)

 

 

I’m on to you Geisel!

 

Campy as Bacon’s [1] choices may have been at times, I have always liked the ‘Shakespearean’ couplet. Its sharp punch signaled something was afoot, someone had a head of steam, moustaches were being twirled, and the pot was being stirred-albeit rather slowly and at a very low heat.

 

“Hang in there groundlings-we’re getting there…”

 

Eventually.

 

(That – or “Go get a refreshing bowl of mud, it’s the end of Act XVII!”)

 

So, with the Hai Kulture Reboot’d launch a week and change out, it’s time to stir some pots, hang some drapes, and create a little mythos.

 

Announcing:

 

The Hai Kulture/Wil Wheaton ‘Blood Feud’

 

Because everything is better with an arch-nemesis!

 

It’s true.

 

Would Bruce Wayne have ever traded money belt for utility, were it not for The Joker? Bat Shark Repellent ™ (Wayne Industries) – but a beautiful dream.

 

Would The Man of Steel just continuously kick pigskins over cornfields if he hadn’t been the cause of his super-smart chum’s sudden case of Evil Alopecia?

 

Would Peter Parker have a cute flame-haired girlfriend if he never had the opportunity to do a bit of web slinging and face punching? He should really pen a nice thank-you note to that guy in the leopard print loincloth and the other chap with the fishbowl on his head. [2] [3]/[4]

 

Would Doctor Strange…?

 

Actually, I have absolutely NO idea what Doctor Strange does, even with an arch-nemesis. I always assumed he just stayed back at headquarters cooking Salisbury steak dinner for everyone else who was out saving the world.

 

Let us leave the be-aproned Doctor Stephen Strange to a dimly lit Avengers dining hall, as the candles burn low and the dinners grow cold, and get back to the blood feud in question.

 

Pop Culture Haiku Television Humor Entertainment Wil Wheaton (Evil)

War of The Wheaton

(To Be Continued)

 

—PepperJack

 

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. Who wants to play ‘Six Degrees of Sir Francis Bacon’? I’ll start-Shakespeare: zero.
  2. That guy in the leopard print loincloth (Kraven the Hunter). The other chap with the fishbowl on his head (Mysterio). Excelsior!
  3. Admittedly, Spiderman’s ‘nemesi’ [4] are decidedly lacking in ‘arch hyphens’ (*see all issues of various Spidermani [4] ‘Nuff said!—Stan Lee)
  4. Hai Kulture hosts the annual ‘Pluralize-Everything-with-the Letter-I Day’ on The FaceSpace. Join in on the fun this year and ask your workmate if they have any ‘stapli!’

© 2011-2017 Hai Kulture (Designated Author Written Content) All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright

show
 
close
rss Follow on Twitter facebook email