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Ku-less: Hai Kulture’d – Impatient Zero

Conjunctiv    

Wrascally pink           

Bunny slip  

  

Pink Eye for the

Geek’d Hai

I apologize for the odd

format of this post and

the Half-Ku (Well, I don’t

apologize for that – this IS,

after all, a Ku-less post

where we keep our two

readers [1]informed of

all the ‘hai-larious’

shenanigans that go

on among The KuJo in the

back room of  The

Bubblegum Nightclub.

It is supposed to be Haiku

free,  so 10 syllables =

bonus!)

(You lucky two readers

 [2]– you!)

So why this unraveled

Mobius strip of a

post?

I have one eye …

I woke up Sunday with

my right eye fused shut.

Apparently, I have a case

of the ‘Pink Eye’. Color

me surprised. Certainly, it

is a few notches down from

Kafka’s ‘Goodnight Moon’

where you wake up a

cockroach, but it is still

unsettling. [3] Midnight

Pixies are supposed to

bring me little candies

and keep my juice glass

filled and covers

tucked in while I sleep,

not drip infectious pus

into my eye.

Not my definition of

Sugar Pluminess.

I have to hand it to you,

Pink Eye, you are indeed

aptly named. My eye is

much like a pickled beet

sitting on the salad bar

of my face.

The thing

about childhood diseases

that shouldn’t manifest

beyond age 6 is the

nomenclature is all flash

and no substance.

Check out the ones

best left for Laura

Ingalls Wilder or

The Littlest of The

Little Women:

Scarlet Fever or

Yellow Fever.

I’m sure they nailed the

hex color digits on those

but walked  a deceptively

euphemistic line on the

‘Fever’ end

of the spectrum.

‘Oh by fever you mean –

ummmm-

Death.

OK .

I see.’

Did Bubonic Plague corner

the colorful Death market?

Was anything else a cheap

imitation? Leaving a 17oo’s

tri-cornered fedora sporting

Don Draper  to spin

doctor a ‘fever’ market.

Accept Ye No Olde

Subsitutees!

Plague was so 500 Falls ago!

‘Fever’ is the new ‘Black’!

I  have to hand it to you

Pink Eye – you are spot on.

My eye is pink.

10 out of 10 for accuracy,

but minus several

billion for neglecting to

recreate the whole situation.

Let’s speed

reader disclaimer this sucker.

Pink-eye-true-but-also-

sticking-together-every-

five-seconds-while-it-

weeps-like-a-bit-of-

Virginal-statuary-in-

an-off-the-map-Mexican-

town-and-feeling-like-you

-were-socked-about-the-

face-mostly-in-the-

region-of-the-eye-with-

a-bit-of-stick-like-a-

celebratory-Pinata-in-the

-town-square-of-said-

quaint-remote-Mexican-

town-upon-discovery-

of-Blessed-weepage-in-

general-and-a-red-hot-

large-gauge-knitting-

needle-fresh-and-wooly-

from-a-half-finished-over-

sized-Christmas-sweater-

from-Nana-Kulture-in-the-

iris-come-direct-

light.

So here I sit with half my

face buried in a pillow that

will be burned like The

Velveteen Rabbit in about

48 hours,typing unmerrily

away. I thought I might

make do with my coolio

tinted computer shades and

the lights turned down like

a blogging Audrey Hepburn

in ‘WaitUntil A Certain Amount

of Dimness’.

No such luck.

To make matters worse –

three of us have it: myself,

‘Erudite Chick Who Is Too

Cool For This’ ,

 and Seward.

We went out Saturday

night and woke up like

pre-schoolers on carpet

swatches come the

morrow.

Misery loves

company and Seward loves

misery. He takes every

illness as  a personal

conspiracy by his body politic.

He has determined that one

of us is ‘Patient Zero’ and

means to flush the culprit out

like Cotton Mather on a seaside

holiday in Salem.

Nothing makes a sick day

worse than receiving

sporadic text quotes from

Ol Johnny Carpenter’s

‘The Thing’.

‘It’s going to get a hell of a

lot worse, before it gets any

better!’

Here’s hoping tomorrow

is a brand new day. [4]

Contagiously,

—Hai

Pop Culture, Haikulture, Haiku, Entertainment, Humor, Poetry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. [and possibly supportive parents

    who may have figured out what

    an RSS feed is all about]

  2. [with a doubtful nod

    to technologically inept

    parents]

  3. Surveys show that human-to-insect

    transmogrification trumps ‘Ewww! My eye is all goopy!!!!’

    9 times out of 10.

  4. (Perhaps one with depth

    perception – if that’s

    not asking too much.)

Ku-less: Hai World! – September the Beginningish

 What’s Happening at The Bubblegum Nighclub

 

Hello Kulturati!

As we enter the month of September and lean in through the doorway a bit,  it’s time once again to check in with The KuJo  and see what’s going on in the back room  of The Bubblegum Nightclub.

Part the First: We have been dealing with some ‘real world’ technical issues in the past two weeks or so.  Between hurricanes and why-aren’t-they-calling-this-a-hurricane weather, we have had trouble keeping our feet dry while getting our Interwebby sea legs. We lost power/Internet/power & Internet/ at The Bubblegum Nightclub on various days and for various durations over the past few weeks. Thankfully, we got the Haikulture 2.0 Reboot in before the Death Storms and I was able to purchase Ramona-style shiny red rubber boots on expense. [1].

Thank you to everyone who has messaged us in one way or another about the Reboot look! We like it and are extremely happy you do. It was exhausting Tron-ning it together piece by piece over 72 hours of monitor strain on the new ‘Hai Kultron 2600’. (I was ecstatic over getting my new-used-Interwebby Persona  specific-rebuilt laptop until I realized it meant surfing the circuitry for Reboot was Event Horizon. )

Part the Second: We have opened the doors to our KuJo companion sister site:

The Bubblegum Nightclub

An anti-Social Networking Contrariwise Blog

http://www.bubblegumnightclub.com/

And what is THAT exactly?

It’s minimalistic. It’s materialistic. It’s virtualistic. It’s algonquinalistic.

(It’s also easier to maintain Webicalistic  Presence  as we can only spew out Essayicalistic Contistic once or twice a week.)

Feel free to check it out for yourself. 🙂

Part the Third-Back in Hai World: – I’m on vacation this week and Seward is recovering from his piecemeal Hurrication from the previous. This Brain Trust and the rest of The  KuJo Collective did unite for beachside de-bocce-ry this past weekend at  Skeeeeeeeeeeeeballlllll! Fest ’11 – our own personal we-don’t-rate Dragon*Con- Kuvention with minor costuming and major cotton candy and funnel cakery. [2]/[3] I flew the official Hai Kulture kite with ad banner (no hits) and Seward held a panel in a sand fort (no attendees/one hit from a 5-year old’s plastic shovel). (We may have pictures once we determine how wet the disposable camera got.)

I’m posting this via E-post (which I finally figured out – go me!) and apologies to all for my Kindl(e)ing post that went up as a rough draft for about 24 hours as the e-edits didn’t take (before I finally figured it out – boo me!).  E-chastisement to Seward for knocking out all thumbnails as he took a turn in the Captain’s chair and tried to help me suss things out.  Kindl(e)-ing II should be up this weekend if Seward decides to stop plowing through DVD sets because he’s ‘The TV guy’ and resume ad hoc editorship [S.1] and he also needs to finally finish thumbnailing Darkside.  Now! [4] / [S.2] / [H.1]

Kummentary on deck for the coming weeks:

Lost without LOST

Seward shares an open love letter to the longest relationship he had in his life

 

Red Dead Dawning

Can Disney’s ‘Teen Machine’ output protect us from a Russian invasion?

 

Back to the beach [5]

 

Keep trope alive!

— Hai

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. Shhhhhhhh!
  2. Yum
  3. YUM YUM YUM
  4. I am ‘The TV Guy’! (I also control the keys to the ‘Hai Kultron 2600’ at the moment… I am drunk with power! HA!)
  5. I will slap the face off your face, if you don’t —Love, Hai
  6. Talk, talk — Indifference, Seward
  7. E-footnote: You texted me ‘Eureka and Weeds – 14.99 Best Buy!’ and then went dark for two days. I know exactly what is happening up there! —Miffed, Hai
  8. Or the squishy between-the-toes quicksand that remains of the beach on the East Coast. 🙁 It’s been downright Gozer the Gozerian here.

© 2011-2017 Hai Kulture (Designated Author Written Content) All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright

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