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Ku-less – Hai Kulture’d: Unjump The Shark Day – The Coolness

Hai Kulture, Pop Culture, Haiku, Entertainment, Humor, Television, Trope, Jump the Shark, The Fonz, Unjump the Shark,

Taking Back ‘The Cool’

Well, September 20th is the annual Unjump the Shark Day at the KuJo and we thought we would share the top 5  ‘Moments of Cool’ from our Facebook Event:

 

The Top 5 Moments of Cool

 

1) I’m going to adopt a young orphan boy, thereby un-jumping the shark by re-jumping the shark.

— Phila WAC     http://www.withoutacue.com/

2) I’m going to convert myself to animated form and travel back in time to the moment of Shark Jumpage. I will then touch myself (in a pardoxical, not sexual way) and destroy the universe, thereby saving cool. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs and I like big omelets!

— Jack Seward, CA

 

3)It took me all day, but I finally figured out what I’m going do…I’m going to the diner that used to be owned by a big fat white guy, but is now owned by a little asian guy with the same name, because racial harmony is the tops! Ayyyyyyy!

—Mark Cooke, NJ

4) Today, I plan to move my office to the men’s room

—Traci Connaughton, NJ

5) I am going to defeat a gypsy curse using the power of my thumb!

—Orange PI (e-mail)

And in last place at 73:

My Moment of Cool

By Seward [1]

Hai Kulture, Television, Cool, Jump the Shark, The Fonz, Entertainment, Humor

Apollo Aaaayyy-teen

I am going to use a friendly diorama to show that the recent shockumentary ‘Apollo 18’ is a work of fiction.

Fuzzy Alligators: Cool
NASA screaming ‘What are you?! Stupid?!’ all over the Internet: Uncool

— Seward [2]/[2.5 Sew]

Henry ‘The Fonz’ Winkler: You are Forever Cool [3]

Ayyy It Forward,

Hai

 

 

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. WEIRDO! —Love, Hai
  2. Take The Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth and instead of eyeballs on his palms install concentrated weirdness – that is a good day with Seward 🙂 — Love, Hai
  3.  

     

     

     

     

     

    As you can see absolutely no eyepalms and weirdness! (Well, conceptual weirdness = yes / palm weirdness = a big fat no!

  4. Even if you didn’t retweet our event or friend us on FaceSpace

Ku-less: Hai World! – September the Beginningish

 What’s Happening at The Bubblegum Nighclub

 

Hello Kulturati!

As we enter the month of September and lean in through the doorway a bit,  it’s time once again to check in with The KuJo  and see what’s going on in the back room  of The Bubblegum Nightclub.

Part the First: We have been dealing with some ‘real world’ technical issues in the past two weeks or so.  Between hurricanes and why-aren’t-they-calling-this-a-hurricane weather, we have had trouble keeping our feet dry while getting our Interwebby sea legs. We lost power/Internet/power & Internet/ at The Bubblegum Nightclub on various days and for various durations over the past few weeks. Thankfully, we got the Haikulture 2.0 Reboot in before the Death Storms and I was able to purchase Ramona-style shiny red rubber boots on expense. [1].

Thank you to everyone who has messaged us in one way or another about the Reboot look! We like it and are extremely happy you do. It was exhausting Tron-ning it together piece by piece over 72 hours of monitor strain on the new ‘Hai Kultron 2600’. (I was ecstatic over getting my new-used-Interwebby Persona  specific-rebuilt laptop until I realized it meant surfing the circuitry for Reboot was Event Horizon. )

Part the Second: We have opened the doors to our KuJo companion sister site:

The Bubblegum Nightclub

An anti-Social Networking Contrariwise Blog

http://www.bubblegumnightclub.com/

And what is THAT exactly?

It’s minimalistic. It’s materialistic. It’s virtualistic. It’s algonquinalistic.

(It’s also easier to maintain Webicalistic  Presence  as we can only spew out Essayicalistic Contistic once or twice a week.)

Feel free to check it out for yourself. 🙂

Part the Third-Back in Hai World: – I’m on vacation this week and Seward is recovering from his piecemeal Hurrication from the previous. This Brain Trust and the rest of The  KuJo Collective did unite for beachside de-bocce-ry this past weekend at  Skeeeeeeeeeeeeballlllll! Fest ’11 – our own personal we-don’t-rate Dragon*Con- Kuvention with minor costuming and major cotton candy and funnel cakery. [2]/[3] I flew the official Hai Kulture kite with ad banner (no hits) and Seward held a panel in a sand fort (no attendees/one hit from a 5-year old’s plastic shovel). (We may have pictures once we determine how wet the disposable camera got.)

I’m posting this via E-post (which I finally figured out – go me!) and apologies to all for my Kindl(e)ing post that went up as a rough draft for about 24 hours as the e-edits didn’t take (before I finally figured it out – boo me!).  E-chastisement to Seward for knocking out all thumbnails as he took a turn in the Captain’s chair and tried to help me suss things out.  Kindl(e)-ing II should be up this weekend if Seward decides to stop plowing through DVD sets because he’s ‘The TV guy’ and resume ad hoc editorship [S.1] and he also needs to finally finish thumbnailing Darkside.  Now! [4] / [S.2] / [H.1]

Kummentary on deck for the coming weeks:

Lost without LOST

Seward shares an open love letter to the longest relationship he had in his life

 

Red Dead Dawning

Can Disney’s ‘Teen Machine’ output protect us from a Russian invasion?

 

Back to the beach [5]

 

Keep trope alive!

— Hai

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. Shhhhhhhh!
  2. Yum
  3. YUM YUM YUM
  4. I am ‘The TV Guy’! (I also control the keys to the ‘Hai Kultron 2600’ at the moment… I am drunk with power! HA!)
  5. I will slap the face off your face, if you don’t —Love, Hai
  6. Talk, talk — Indifference, Seward
  7. E-footnote: You texted me ‘Eureka and Weeds – 14.99 Best Buy!’ and then went dark for two days. I know exactly what is happening up there! —Miffed, Hai
  8. Or the squishy between-the-toes quicksand that remains of the beach on the East Coast. 🙁 It’s been downright Gozer the Gozerian here.

Ku-Less – Hai Kulture’d: You Don’t Know ‘PepperJack’!

Apparently, Seward received a fan letter [1] inquiring about his moniker ‘PepperJack’. He’s vacationing in less writery climes, but sent this to The Kujo in a desperate attempt to maintain his fan base of one. So without further ado:

 

You Don’t Know ‘PepperJack’!

PepperJack

 

My nom-de-nom-de-blog ‘PepperJack’ is a nod to my Punk-Gass’d [2] / [2.5] character in ‘Villians Victorianus’ and ‘from hell, With Love’. [3] The waist-coated dandified sociopath is a Mack-the-Knife-meets-Springheel-Jack-the-Ripper and the bane of waist-coated dandified crimefighters along the Thames. With his pepper spray cane and a mastery of knives, he slinks along the cobbles of Londontown.

Honestly – it just comes down to the fact that the idea of comic cover splash art of ol’ Sassy Jack jumping through a stained glass window with the tag ‘Beware The Slice of PepperJack’ makes me laugh hysterically [4]/[5]

 —PepperJack

 

 

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. He’s lying —Hai 🙂
  2. Seward believes Steampunk is for sissies. He prefers low-tech alt history, which he believes is more gaslight friendly. He has dubbed this universe ‘Punk-Gass’d’ .

    It’s The Wild, Wild West meets Limehouse.

  3. Also saying things like “punk-gass’d” makes him laugh far too vigorously for the polite dinner party set
  4. These don’t exist – but thanks Circular 66!
  5. You also have a strange fixation with Dr. Jack Seward from Stoker’s Dracula. Remember we had that talk about how you can’t be a re-incarnated fictitious person— Hai [5]
  6. Yes, that is true – and I’m so not lying! [1] —Seward

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