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Ku-Less: Hai World! – August The Middle

At this week’s table meeting, The KuJo decided to celebrate by counting our readers on our fingers and a modicum of toes. We also figured it would be nice to keep you, our literally digitized followers, in the know of what is going on in the Hai Kulture world.

 

Introducing: Hai World! – What’s Happening at The Bubblegum Nightclub.

 

We are still mucking about in background of the web build. You will see some changes in the next few weeks and bear with the smudgy fingerprints of error as we jigsaw this together. We are hoping to have a professional build by the end of the month. As mostly Arts and English majors, HTML and CSS are an alphabet soup to MFAs. Our skills range from ‘On Button-This?’ to “How can I Google ‘Why is my screen blue and frozen?’ when my screen is blue and frozen?” It is much like those bread board electronic kits Radio Shack used to peddle before they needed a passport for batteries. After six hours, a resistor under the fingernail, and several inadvertent bouts of mild electroshock therapy for ages 8-12 – we can make that little red light in the corner flicker.

If one poorly cobbled together secret tree fort on the Web wasn’t enough – Hai Kulture will be announcing The KuJo’s The Bubblegum Nightclub blog in the coming weeks. The Bubblegum Nightclub: The In-Your-FaceSpace anti-Social Networking network powered by KuJo.  (I honestly have no idea what that means and was barely able to read the scrawl on the Post-It passed to me.) This should be interesting…

Coming Kummentary for the next week or so include:

 

Here we are now, going to..

The Darkside – The Haiku

 Joy riding with Moby and taking in the sights of Intergalactic Hubris.

 

 

 

Dial EVIL for E

Our Interwebby Personality, Hai, takes a stand against the prefix ‘e-‘

That’s e-ronic!

 

 To Jump or not to Jump, that is the Shark

 Seward hasn’t shaved in two days and has dubbed his  sabbatical – Investigative Blogalism.

Trope springs eternal!

 

—Hai

War of The Wheaton – The Haiku

You are  ‘Just A Geek’

Wil Wheaton! Find this Blood Feud

Far from Starfleetin’

Something Wheaton  This Way Comes…Part the First

Beginnings and Strange Days

 

 

Granted this is not my best work by far, but the haiku couplet is a nice touch. In my defense, Dr. Seuss squeezed quite a bit of forced meter from nonsensical stones in his day:

 

Moonin’ K. Marvey, we have to leave in a bit!
(Now to make up a word and make this rhyme fit.)

 

 

I’m on to you Geisel!

 

Campy as Bacon’s [1] choices may have been at times, I have always liked the ‘Shakespearean’ couplet. Its sharp punch signaled something was afoot, someone had a head of steam, moustaches were being twirled, and the pot was being stirred-albeit rather slowly and at a very low heat.

 

“Hang in there groundlings-we’re getting there…”

 

Eventually.

 

(That – or “Go get a refreshing bowl of mud, it’s the end of Act XVII!”)

 

So, with the Hai Kulture Reboot’d launch a week and change out, it’s time to stir some pots, hang some drapes, and create a little mythos.

 

Announcing:

 

The Hai Kulture/Wil Wheaton ‘Blood Feud’

 

Because everything is better with an arch-nemesis!

 

It’s true.

 

Would Bruce Wayne have ever traded money belt for utility, were it not for The Joker? Bat Shark Repellent ™ (Wayne Industries) – but a beautiful dream.

 

Would The Man of Steel just continuously kick pigskins over cornfields if he hadn’t been the cause of his super-smart chum’s sudden case of Evil Alopecia?

 

Would Peter Parker have a cute flame-haired girlfriend if he never had the opportunity to do a bit of web slinging and face punching? He should really pen a nice thank-you note to that guy in the leopard print loincloth and the other chap with the fishbowl on his head. [2] [3]/[4]

 

Would Doctor Strange…?

 

Actually, I have absolutely NO idea what Doctor Strange does, even with an arch-nemesis. I always assumed he just stayed back at headquarters cooking Salisbury steak dinner for everyone else who was out saving the world.

 

Let us leave the be-aproned Doctor Stephen Strange to a dimly lit Avengers dining hall, as the candles burn low and the dinners grow cold, and get back to the blood feud in question.

 

Pop Culture Haiku Television Humor Entertainment Wil Wheaton (Evil)

War of The Wheaton

(To Be Continued)

 

—PepperJack

 

Meta-Notoriety    (↵ returns to text)
  1. Who wants to play ‘Six Degrees of Sir Francis Bacon’? I’ll start-Shakespeare: zero.
  2. That guy in the leopard print loincloth (Kraven the Hunter). The other chap with the fishbowl on his head (Mysterio). Excelsior!
  3. Admittedly, Spiderman’s ‘nemesi’ [4] are decidedly lacking in ‘arch hyphens’ (*see all issues of various Spidermani [4] ‘Nuff said!—Stan Lee)
  4. Hai Kulture hosts the annual ‘Pluralize-Everything-with-the Letter-I Day’ on The FaceSpace. Join in on the fun this year and ask your workmate if they have any ‘stapli!’

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